For Better or for Worse - How to Help Your Partner Through Job Hunts

For Better or for Worse - How to Help Your Partner Through Job HuntsFor Better or for Worse - How to Help Your Partner Through Job HuntsWhen one half of a couple is out of work, it requires extra effort from both to keep the household on the move.The for better or worse vow has been put to the test during the past few years as millions of couples relationships have been affected by long periods of joblessness.While the burden of unemployment is certainly stressful for the person who has lost a job, it also represents huge new responsibilities for a spouse who still has a job. One of the biggest is bringing home a paycheck while supporting your mann an ihrer seite in the search for a new job. This role requires patience, a positive attitude and flexibility - as well as generosity with your network.Monica Wright and her husband, Tim, have experienced this firsthand. Tim lost his job as a morning radio host in August. Monica, a search marketing executive, lost her job two months later but was fortunate to land another full-time position shortly thereafter.Tim has not been so lucky, and the couples lives have changed substantially as a result. While searching for a job, Tim stays home and takes care of the couples two children, ages 4 and 10. Monica works her full-time job and freelances to help make up for Tims lost salary. She estimates that she works an average of 60 hours a week.Monica said the situation has not been easy, but she realizes that both she and Tim are doing what needs to be done to keep the family and each other afloat. Its been tough. We sort of fell into assumed roles, she said. Ive got to work, so I cant necessarily spend time doing things such as calling the tax guy or following up on personal things or taking the kids to the dentist. Its a little stressful on my end, where I dont spend as much down time, and Im afraid of burnout. But it is what it is right now.Acknowledgment and acceptance, as well as compromise and collaboration, are key t o keeping a relationship healthy, said Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist, certified life coach and author of The Available Parent Radical Optimism for Raising Tweens and Teens . Couples need to work together through the challenge, and often crisis, of job change, to ensure they are allied with one another, Duffy said. They also need to tend to their relationship by spending some time talking about something other than the job search, and enjoying one another.The longer a person is away from the routine of the workforce (and the more rejections one receives), the more difficult it can be to maintain motivation. This is where the employed spouse also comes in, say experts - providing advice, perspective and, when needed, cheerleading.Keep Your Spouse ConnectedEncourage the spouse as much as possible to stay out there, keep networking and remain connected with the professional community, said Deb Brown, a business coach and licensed psychologist. People who are depressed are of ten tempted to withdraw, which is one of the worst things a job seeker can do.That connection to a professional community should apply not only to the job seekers network but to the employed spouses network, as well, said career experts who spoke with Ladders. Even if you are not in the same industry as your partner, you never know which one of your contacts knows someone who knows someone who is. The trick, experts add, is to be able to clearly articulate your partners skills and experience in a professional manner - something that can be difficult to do, to be sure, when there is so much emotional baggage attached to the situation.Serve as an advocate for your spouse by actively networking among friends and family, said Roy Cohen, career coach and author of The Wall Street Professionals Survival Guide . But dont do so out of fear or desperation. Be clear on what your spouse does professionally and how to best explain it. Your messaging will make a difference if its clear, concis e, and not fear-based.Monica Wright opened up her professional network to her husband and said it resulted in a few follow-ups. She admits, though, that the opportunities seem to be scarce given the nature of her husbands work.Indeed, in the radio industry, a new job often means a new market - a move the Wrights are not sure they want to make at this time. Tim has been exploring new professional options for the next phase of his professional life, a process Monica is supporting.Its been about giving him space and being supportive in terms of providing ideas and access to a network, she said. I dont get resentful. I like what I do for work. Its not like Im digging trenches. He just needs to figure out what he wants to do for the next phase, and I just give him the tools. Were just trying to make it all work out.